Wednesday, October 13, 2010

October 13th

Things are trucking along out here in Pinehurst. Its been so hot the past few days but finally we had a beautiful day today and while I crave the coolness that fall should bring I'm still trying to enjoy it. I know I'll be sick of the cold in no time . . . all the work it brings putting shoes on and jackets on! One thing I won't miss is mosquitoes! Ugh! I am so sick of those nasty little things. Ainsley will now track me down and present me with a cotton ball and the calomine lotion if she get attacked before I've sprayed her down with Off. I hear that they finally die after two frosts and at this point it feels like that is never going to happen. Thankfully its cool enough that we have been able to enjoy our fireplace outside in the evenings. That may be one of the best investments in family time we will ever make. Plus it brings out the pyromaniac in all of us . . . and better to have our kids do it in our presence than on their own :)
Ainsley is on the final few days of her two week fall break (Pre-K can be pretty grueling, you know). I've really enjoyed the time with her these past couple weeks. She and Reid are so sweet to each other and play so nicely together when Jake isn't around. Speaking of Jake he had a half day of school today and it was so nice to have a relaxing afternoon around the house with him. Really makes me wish we could put him in a half day kindergarten but I know at this point its more important to keep him stable . . . plus he has a really great teacher at Pinehurst Elementary.
I've been trying to get back in my groove of waking up early to spend time with the Lord (on the days that I don't go out and run). Its a wonderful time for me and I really treasure that peace and quiet before the craziness of the day starts. Reid did thwart me this morning as he showed up in our room about 5 minutes before my alarm went off and snuggled up to me. I could not make myself leave him so I got up an hour later then I'd planned! But even so Jake got fed and dressed and sent off to school on time.
Is anyone else watching the show Sister Wives on TLC. Its pure craziness but I can't keep myself from watching. If you missed it you might be out of luck because I think the season finale is next week . . . better luck next time!
Alright people, that's all I've got for you. Back to your regularly scheduled lives ;)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

What Day Is It?

Seriously, I hate coming up with titles to my blog. They are either inane and stupid or they set me up to say something spectacular which (often) does not happen. Whatev. I just have to get a new blog up so the first thing newcomers read isn't the story of how I failed Jake. I should probably ease people into that. Hopefully if people are coming to my blog via facebook they have already looked at my pictures and seen the hats I made for school startup or my crafty banner for JD's birthday and they are all like "how is she so awesomely awesome". And then they mosey over here to my blog and read that and think "hmmm, not so awesome". Its kinda a good reminder to all of us that facebook let's us put forward whatever face we want - so take it all with a grain of salt. But if you know me you know I am all about honesty and being forthcoming with my flaws and imperfections!
Jane Dare turned one on September 9th and it was a great day in which we celebrated the joy she is in our lives. That little girl has just about every member of our family wrapped around her little finger. She and Jake adore each other and just this morning Jake asked me if we could have a bunch more babies when Jane Dare gets big. And don't even get me started on her daddy - when I kid him about it he just gets a sheepish grin on his face that makes me love him even more (if that is possible). The other day Jane Dare was in our room messing with our modem (I would NEVER get anything done if I didn't let her) and Ryan came in and caught us. He looked at her and jokingly said "THAT's what happens to my internet you little hussy" and her whole face clouded over and she just started to sob. Well I thought Ryan was going to DIE. I'm pretty sure that will be the last time he ever scolds her. I can so easily see now how the baby of the family can get spoiled. None of my other kids nursed until they were over a year but here I am just now finally getting her weaned. Its hard to tell that little thing no!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

And now a moment to make all you moms feel better about yourselves

I know that title is a little bit long but bear with me. I'm traumatized. I found out today on the 6th day of kindergarten that I have been screwing up snack time for Jake ever since we started full time school a week ago. Somehow there was a miscommunication and I thought they just did drinks at snack time so I've been sending money for juice or milk. Well, today in the kindergarten newsletter there was a reminder to all parents to "please remember to send in a snack for your child as its a long school day and the children get very hungry". I think I stopped breathing for a minute when I read that. So as I was sitting with Jake doing his homework I asked him about it and he dissolved into tears. Told me (through sobs) that everyone else had a snack and he didn't have any. At this point I was contemplating suicide. Then he went in his closet and cried even harder. Now I'm thinking about contacting someone to waterboard me and then they can kill me.
That's it. I have no happy ending. But rest assured there is snack packed for tomorrow. Then a friend sent me this link and it made me smile again. My favorite one is "Google does not have children" . . .

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A Good Reminder

Last Thursday I was in a bit of a funk - a pity party, if you will - because my day was not turning out as I had planned and so I decided to feel sorry for myself. You know the drill, no one likes me, I'm so bored, I lack motivation, blah blah blah blah blah. Now, if I was in charge of the universe and I looked down and saw someone indulging in such self pity I'd probably just let them wallow in it until they could get a grip on themselves. But that is not what my loving heavenly Father did. Instead He sent me four reminders through the day of some of the special women he has put into my life.
1 - I was reminded that I have a friend who would drive many hours to beat up someone who she has perceived has wronged me. No questions asked. Which most likely mean she would be beating up someone who didn't deserve it but that is the kind of friend she is.
2 - I was shown the love of a friend who despite an overwhelming schedule and amount of demands on her would make an effort to put the feelings of my son first. This would involve shoe-horning a lunch with my Jake into their day so that he would not have to be disappointed when circumstances necessitated we cancel our plans (rest assured I talked her down off the ledge of guilt and refused to let her add something else to her plate - there is plenty of time for that).
3 - I was reminded of the love of a friend as we shared our hearts with one another over the clatter of my four children on my side of the phone and the noise of her four children (plus one extra) on her end of the line. As we encouraged one another and laughed and shared prayer requests . . . my heart was lifted.
4 - I was able to watch two girls who I love dearly encourage one another via facebook - sharing love and support and planning a time that they could be together despite the fact that one lives in C-ville and the other in the Boro. And I knew that they would offer the same love and encouragement to me any time I needed it.

Thankfully by the next day I could so clearly see these blessings and all the Lord has given me and rejoice rather than mope! What an awesome God we serve and what blessings He has bestowed on me.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Just Another Sunday Night

Thought I'd share some pictures with you of what's just another night at our house

A little couch acrobatics
Some hard core teething

Showing off his new toy (purchased with allowance & tooth fairy cash)

Portrait by Ainsley (don't mind the cleavage. I assure you I don't!)

More of aforementioned acrobatics. . . yes he is doing what it looks like.

Reid's best Tommy Boy impression

It's hard to be this gorgeous! And for pete sake why am I still in my Sunday dress at 6:30 pm!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

For Free!

Have I got a deal for you! One Sesame Street Talking Elmo phone free to the first taker! I'll even pay for shipping to my out of state readers. How can you resist???
Disclaimer: Phone may be slightly "water" logged. I'm sure nothing some time in a bag of rice won't fix.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Happy 6th Birthday Jake

Today is my big boy Jake's 6th birthday! Just so I don't start blurring the birth order roles now I'm going to keep up with what has become a tradition of writing glowing blogs, making beautiful videos, etc of Jake on his birthday while completely ignoring my other three children. They can all go to the same therapist when they get older and have group sessions where the talk about it. I'll even pay.
Six years ago I was in the hospital still reeling from what happened to my body during 19 hours of labor, three hours of pushing, a vacuum assist delivery complete with a complimentary episiotomy. It was awesome. Since no men read this (except maybe my dad) I'll also add that the next couple of days I was a spectacle to all med students & residents as having the most swollen nether regions any of the providers had seen. This was quite a way to cap off my 42 weeks of gestating my precious son.
I remember holding Jake in my arms and talking with my mom about the life ahead of him. We thought ahead to the first time a girl breaks his heart and I broke down in tears. Six years later that little boy still holds my heartstrings in his beautiful little hands. The tears I've shed worrying over him, loving on him, watching him struggle, and blossom and grow. I see a little boy who captivated everyone from the time of his birth with his beautiful blue eyes and shining blonde hair. And now I see his impish grin as he gets up to go good or the look of concentration on his brow as he works to create a masterpiece. And all of it I store up in my heart much like Mary did as she watched her precious baby Jesus.
Next month Jake starts kindergarten and to say I'm a nervous wreck is an understatement. I'm not ready to open up my fist and let my little boy go. I want to hold onto him forever. Jake is so special and unique and I'm terrified to send him out into the world. I feel more prepared for Ainsley to take on kindergarten . . . my girl who I love every single little bit as much as her big brother. But that is not how it goes an I have four more weeks to come to terms with that. Prayers welcome :) But for tonight I'll just try to celebrate my Jake and thank God for the perfect creation he made when he put that boy together.

On the Road Again

So I think I'm officially back to running. My month off set me back about 7 pounds which was not a highlight but I still managed to rest my foot enough and wait it out until I felt it was good enough to run on. Started out with just 30 minutes slow-ish on the treadmill on Tuesday. Felt good so I took off yesterday and then ran my regular route this morning. It felt good the majority of the time except when I'd step on a rock funny. Its felt good (pain free) all the rest of today so I'm encouraged in that and ready to get serious about training for the Army 10 Miler.

As a result of moving to the area and making lots of new facebook connections with people I'm getting to know I'm feeling a bit more shy with what I put out on my blog. Right now I just feel like writing a big old whiny post but I'm hesitant because I don't want to scare any newcomers away from me. I feel like the majority of my posts since I moved here have been whiny rather than cheerful. Its just still so hard to feel like I belong here sometimes and on weeks like this one (where I'm extra emotional) it really gets to me. I've met soooo many welcoming, kind, friendly women here so that isn't the problem. The problem is that many of these women have a life here - a busy, friend filled, fruitful life - and it doesn't happen to revolve around me. Insanity, I know. And I am insanely busy too but right now that mostly involves taking my children to a never ending parade of doctor's appointments, trying so hard to keep up with my housekeeping & occasionally working a project or two into the mix. Bottom line is that I'm lonely. I want to pick up the phone and call someone but then I stop because I don't want to whine or become a burden.
I know that when we find a church and really settle in that will (hopefully) help. I'm really craving a community group situation like what we had back in TN and I pray that there is one out there for us.
And before I chicken out from sharing my heart I'm going to hit the publish post button.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Sorry To Keep You Waiting

So I know you are all just dying in anticipation to here my next take on my Vibrams. Well, I'm an idiot and rather than reading how to adjust to barefoot running I just jumped right in and managed to give myself a stress fracture. Words do not express how frustrated I am. I was finally reaching my top fitness level and feeling really good in my workouts AND gearing up to train for the Army 10 miler. And now . . . well know I am starting in on my 3rd week of no training trying to get my foot to heal. I've been riding Ryan's bike when I can and yesterday I did the elliptical . . . hoping to start 30 day shred with my girlfriend as soon as it arrives in the mail but nothing compares to a long, hard run. And the worst part is I have no idea when it'll heel up and I'll feel better. If I had some sort of a timeline that might help but right now I'm just taking it day by day. Wouldn't you think that 4 weeks would be enough time to heal a stress fracture? That is what I'm hoping for.
Now the question is what to do, what to do once I heal and start running again. I think at this point with the countdown on until 10 miler time my best bet is to just put on my Asics and stick with those until after the race. Then I'll give it another try and ease into a fivefinger existence more slowly this time. But seriously I just want to scream. Isn't it hard enough to find time to workout, etc without having this happen. So that is that.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A break from your regularly scheduled blog . . .

I've been on an odyssey of sorts for the past couple of weeks ever since my friend/babysitter Christin gave me a book that she said I HAD to read. Its called Born To Run and from the moment I started it I could barely put it down. It really challenged a lot of my preconceived ideas about running for exercise and what the human body is capable of and made for. If you like running or want to like running I can't recommend this book enough BUT I will warn you that after reading it you'll want to go run a 50 mile ultramarathon. Don't worry though because the next time you go for a jog you'll be knocked back down to reality (or at least I was).
Long story short was that the main thing I took away from this book was that my running shoes might be part of my problem when my knees started to act up every now and then. After the thorough explanation in the book about the idea of barefoot running I was intrigued to say the least. For a long time I've laughed at the Vibram Fivefingers as the freakiest looking "shoes" that I've ever seen. My fashion sensible side wanted no part of these. But the part of me that loves a good run (one that is pain free) was dying to give them a try. So, after doing some research including a couple of barefoot runs on my treadmill I was ready to give them a try. Lucky me that the maid of honor from our wedding is the manager at River Jack's so she was able to give me a heads up when a pair in my size came in (these things are SUPER popular). So I picked them up on Saturday and took them out for my first spin on Sunday. My plan is to give you all a rundown of my first few times running in them in case any hobby runners like me out there are considering the switch.
After getting use to the feeling of having something in between each of my toes I took off. My first observation is that these shoes are not designed for running on gravel roads. Maybe fine gravel would be ok but my street has larger rocks and they hurt! So I got off my beaten path and ran along the pinestraw which was much better. When I hit the pavement again it was a bit hard on my feet. So when I crossed the street I hopped onto the grass running alongside the curb. My second observation is that I wouldn't be setting any records in these shoes as I had to be a lot more careful where I was stepping and I found myself running with more awareness of each footfall. My about the turn around point my left foot was aching a bit with each step. When I zoned out I found that it didn't bother me at all but as soon as I tried to pay attention to my stride I felt it again. When I was able to get onto a cushy place of sand or straw I felt no discomfort at all. Running the same length of time as usual I probably covered about a half mile less than what I might usually.
I didn't get any blisters from the fivefingers and it didn't mess up my pedicure. What I noticed soon after my run and even more yesterday was a pleasant soreness in my calf muscles. I like this feeling showing that my legs were working differently in these shoes and I hope that will work to improve my fitness.
Stay tuned for my next installment of day two in the fivefingers.

Monday, June 14, 2010


This morning while I was still fumbling around for my coffee Ainsley called to me that there was an ant on the floor next to her. No biggie, I thought as I went to check it out. That ant, however, led me to another ant and another ant and another ant until I found myself by our breakfast nook window where the floorboards were crawling with ants. I freaked out and started calling every pest control company in the book. Only one was actually open at 7 a.m. and none, apparently, view my ant infestation as a major emergency. WRONG ANSWER.
Fortunately I got some good advice on Facebook and after Jane Dare's nap (during which time I kept my vac on high alert and sucked up the little buggers every chance I had) I packed the kids up and we headed for Lowes. I got in, got out with the stuff I needed and the kids were great! As we were heading out the door I was telling them how proud of them I was and what a great job they had done. I said to them, "You know what? You guys were so good that when we get home . . . " but that was as far as I got because a man walking behind me thought it would be a great idea to yell out "GO FOR ICE CREAM". Um, what!?!?! Excuse me but did you really just say that to my three young children who now believe they are going to be rewarded with ice cream? Are you going to chaperone that excursion? Were you planning to buy? Who the heck do you think you are Mister! I wanted to kill him. Instead I laughed and looked at the kids and went back to what I was originally going to suggest to which Jake replied "that sounds like an even better idea Mom". Whew, barely escaped that one alive!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Rest of The Story

When I was in elementary school my family participated in a neighborhood carpool group to get my brother and I back and forth to school. We went to a private Christian school (so no buses) but my parents got lucky in that our small neighborhood had three other families with large vehicles and children at the same school. I still remember sobbing at the front window waiting for Mrs. Sherrill to show up on Monday mornings when I had safety patrol duty. She was ALWAYS late and I was, after all, the Captain of the patrol so I was supposed to be early. I'm surprised I survived those mornings - both that my parents didn't kill me and that my heart managed the stress of it all.
Often when it was Mrs. G's day to pick us up we'd climb into her enormous Chevrolet station wagon and get to hear the "rest of the story". Literally always just in time to hear the culmination to whatever great tale Paul Harvey had been weaving.
Well, if you saw my post a couple of weeks ago on Facebook about Jake heading out one evening to deliver pictures he'd drawn to our neighbors . . . now you can get ready for the rest of the story.
When Jake got home that evening awash in the glow of sharing his art with adoring fans he immediately began planning which pictures he would draw next and deliver to the neighbors he'd missed. We assured him we would take him out again soon and kissed him goodnight and put him to bed. Aaaah, we smiled, what a sweet, wonderful boy we have there.
The next morning my cell phone rang from my bedside table rousing me out of a sound sleep. I grabbed it and noted first the time and then the fact it was a local number that I didn't recognize. I almost didn't answer but curiosity got the better of me. Good thing I did answer because who was calling me at 6:39 a.m. but my neighbor down the street who had been roused from her sleep by Jake and Ainsley knocking at her door in the pajamas to deliver a picture. Even better she was NOT the first stop they had made apparently. Bless Kathy's heart she called me to let me know that she had two of my children in her possession. I gasped, began apologizing profusely and assured her that Ryan would be right down. He was walking out the door before I even hung up the phone.
What I wouldn't give to have been a fly on Jake and Ainsley's bedroom wall to see who woke up whom and what conversation preceded a early morning trek down Midland Trail.
God is watching out for my little chicks in more ways than one but tonight as I write out this story I'm thankful for kind neighbors, good cell phone reception in our house, and a house at the end of quiet, gravel street.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Is Mother's Day Over Yet?

Not to complain (who, me???) but I don't have very positive feelings about Mother's Day. Not because of any deep Freudian reasons or problems with my own lovely mother but more because the bleeping Army has pretty much ruined it for me. My first MD was in 2005. Ryan was home, I was newly pregnant with Ainsley but Ryan was also graduating that weekend with his PhD so I got a little overshadowed. (waah, waah). In 2006 Ryan was in Iraq and I had a 21 month old and a 4 month old so it totally sucked. In 2007 Ryan was home and we were on a cruise in Alaska. Ok, so that one was pretty good. In fact, I came home from that cruise with Reid. Is that TMI? Sorry. In 2008 Ryan made it home on Mother's Day Eve so that was nice to have him home but he was very jet-lagged and I was kinda cranky. In 2009 Ryan was gone. In 2010 Ryan is gone. Do you see a theme here.
I have to say that my wonderful husband does everything he can to make my day nice when he can't be here. I get presents, there are always flowers delivered . . . the problem is the dang kids. Do you see my dilemma? Someone actually commented to me one time that they had thought about offering to babysit for me on Mother's Day but then they realized that of course I'd want to be with them on Mother's Day. Um (cough, cough) yes, of course I would! What kind of mother would want to be away from her offspring on Mother's Day!?!
Me, to be perfectly honest. I love my children. They bring me so much joy an happiness but they also plain wear me out and Sundays can be particularly difficult. I had a breakdown this morning trying to get us all out of the door for church on time and I might have said a naughty word when I dropped some ice on the floor (the horror!). Thankfully Jane Dare was the only one who heard it and she promised not to repeat it.
But what would really make a great Mother's Day would be to sleep in, have my children calmly shower me with cards and gifts while I eat breakfast in bed and then for them to *poof* disappear for 5, 6, 7 hours. And then I can see them again at dinnertime and treasure these little darlings that I've given life too.
Ryan, are you listening?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Good Times At Kindergarten Registration

This morning Ainsley, Reid, Jane Dare and I accompanied Jake to Kindergarten registration at his new school. What a lucky boy Jake was to have Reid climbing up on the table to "assist" him while he tried to demonstrate his skills during assessment. How blessed as his sister loudly announced the names of all the animals in the book she was reading during the lead teacher's speech. How wonderful for him that his mother couldn't do much to help as she was busy taking care of paperwork and holding his baby sister.
I'm sure Jake did great on his assessment. I bet that speech had lots of great information in it. Positive that the tour of the school took us lots of places we'll need to know about for next year. I couldn't hear or see any of it because I was busy listening to the chorus of "my you have your hands full" and "look at this busy mom" with the occasional "are they all yours?" thrown in.
Ainsley was all about it. She would be starting kindergarten tomorrow if they would take her. Within about 30 seconds of us being in the library one teacher commented to me that she was a "fireball". I wonder what took her so long to figure it out. As we were leaving Ainsley told me how excited she was about her new school. The excitement was not contagious as Jake pretty much just wanted out. He was not to be won over by the turtles, guinea pigs, juice or cookies. He's going to make these teachers work for his adoration.
I do need to toot my own horn here a bit. First of all I managed to get all five of us dressed, fed and out the door by 8:10 with all the correct forms and documents. This includes having a loaded diaper bag and stroller in the car. Secondly when the woman who came into the library five minutes after I did with her one and only child waltzed in front of me in line without even a glance in my direction I did not pull her hair out. Thirdly when Reid wanted in and out of the stroller at every one of the four kindergarten classrooms we visited I complied and did not try to slip him a mickey.
Like I said . . . good times.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Turning the corner

Thought I'd start off this post with a little smile from my girl Jane Dare. How could that baby not make anyone's day a little brighter? And then I had to share a shot of my big kids playing with their new bubble machine courtesy of the Remick family. It came in a huge box of goodies that was like Christmas all over again. Two weeks later I'm still grinning when I come across something special out of that box.
I feel like we are starting to turn the corner here in Pinehurst. I've met some really super nice ladies who are helping me get connected around here. One in particular who reminds me a lot of Nicki Clay - and that is just about one of the highest compliments I could pay someone. She is a "connector" and everyone (especially a newcomer) needs one of those in their lives! So far I've gotten hooked into MOPS, Mother's Morning Out, a church playgroup and gotten the lay of the land on hairdressers, VBS programs for the summer and more! On Saturday I ventured to a church baby shower and although I was nervous to put myself out there it was a good time and I was rewarded for my bravery by getting to talk to some very sweet ladies from the church. And then on Monday I was invited to join a group of moms with kids at the same preschool as mine who were heading to the zoo in Asheboro for the first day of spring break. I took a deep breathe, girded my loins, strapped on my baby bjorn and off we went! The kids had a great time, I was totally excited that we all survived and I was also energized at the chance to get to know a couple of ladies better. And just one more example of the quality people I'm meeting - one friend just called to offer to watch my kids so Ryan and I could go on one more date before he leaves in a couple of days. How thoughtful and generous! (too bad I have a hair appt and can't take her up on it!).
All of this business with "friend making" has got me thinking deep thoughts (dangerous, I know) on what makes a friend. Its caused me to think back to the beginning of some of my best friendships ever. All of them got off to a slow start (at least from the point I met them to the point of real, deep intimacy) but all of them are richer than I could ever have imagined. I met my bff Red right after I was newly married but we didn't really become friends until about 3+ years later and even then it was another year or two until we really deepened our relationship. And I have similar twists and turns in my other close friendships. With some I have very similar backgrounds, with others they are polar opposites. With some we always end up buying similar outfits, getting similar haircuts (ok, I'm talking about Troy) and with others our taste is totally dissimilar. All of this to say that I would do a pretty awful job on my own of deciding who my friends should be - but God always brings just the right person into my life at just the right time. And I'm thankful that I can rest in Him and enjoy this ride as I try to carve a niche for myself and my family in this new area.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A Tale of Three Lovies

This post probably doesn't need to much explanation but I'll give a brief story anyway. When Ains was born Ryan's aunt and uncle sent her lovie number one pictured far left. Its had a few nicknames - the Lover, Jorge, Juan - but Lovie is the name that has stuck. When we realized that she was getting attached we ordered lovie number two (center). For a while it didn't matter to her which was she had and they were virtually indistinguishable but all of the sudden she made it clear that her heart belonged to the one and only "real Lovie" (as opposed to "other lovie"). In a bind other Lovie will do but she always goes back to the original. So when Jane Dare came along I ordered her two bunny lovies of her own (which I hope to use interchangeably for as long as possible!). I just could not resist snapping a picture of the three all lined up to show the life of an adored Lovie. If I chose correctly than Jane Dare's will probably be in the same shape in 4 years!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Lately I feel disenchanted. I love using this word even though it doesn't represent very positive feelings or emotions - it actually makes me feel a little less disenchanted. But then I begin to ruminate on life again and, whoops, there it is . . . disenchanted.
What is it causing me to feel so blah. I mean, I have on official friend now (see comment on my Observations blog), Ryan is home (for now), the kids are finally adjusting . . .
But then there are those last 5 pounds of pregnancy weight I can't get off now matter how much I run (or how many chocolate chip cookies I eat. Oh, wait.), the fact that I occasionally feel like I'm in junior high again when I'm trying to make a connection with other moms, Jane Dare's new pattern of waking multiple times at night, but mostly I know it has to do with the spiritual environment in my home. Or lack thereof.
I've become so lazy in making time with the Father a priority. I've let family worship time become a distant memory. I'm not being purposeful in my parenting, discipline, and homemaking. And rather than feeling motivated and excited to turn over a new leaf and start over I feel discouraged because I don't want to fail again. Jake is 5 - these days with him are precious and he'll never be so impressionable again. I feel like if I (we) screw up again we may never recover those lost opportunities.
Where does all this leave me? I don't know. I got up early this morning to try again in spending time in prayer and the Word. I got in about 10 minutes before Jane Dare and then Reid woke up. But its a start. I ordered some resources on the Internet last night and I'm excited to see how all those goes. And most importantly my wonderful husband and I are communicating on working together on this. What a blessing. So, I'll keep you posted. And in the meantime a few of you may be getting a tap on the shoulder requesting some accountability help. I sure need it.

Monday, February 15, 2010

How on earth could anyone NOT want to be around this guy?

He always smells like pancake syrup, he gives big kisses right on the lips on demand & he calls milk "miltch". Who could possibly resist that kind of cuteness?

Apparently, his brother, that's who:

(In case you are having difficulty seeing the picture hanging on Jake and Ainsley's door this is a picture of Reid (complete with pacifier) with a circle and line drawn through it).

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


- I lived in this house for well over a month before I realized that the little light/fan combos in the bathrooms actually blew hot air out of them when you hit a certain switch. Fantastic feature but it would've been helpful to know this through frigid December and January.
- I also lived here a month before I realized I didn't have a house key. I still don't have one.
- Do you know how many times I have read the book about the 10 little ladybugs without realizing that when "along came a (fill in the blank animal) and then there were (one less ladybug)" that this book is actually talking about the sweet ladybugs being eaten!!!!!! And I'm reading this to my 2 year old? Poor ladybugs - using their untimely demise to teach my kid how to count.
- I need to hurry up and get out all of my snarky comments about a few people I've met around here before my blog gets out there. Right now I have no friends so not much danger of anyone discovering it via my facebook page, etc.
- When we go to Walmart its always busy but as Ryan noted "we have a distinct advantage over all the other patrons because we aren't pulling our oxygen tanks behind us".
- My master bedroom is so frickity-frackin cold that I am never in here unless necessary. Right now two kids are napping and the other two are up in the play room watching a movie so I deem this necessary.
- Ryan and I had a small skirmish this morning. He called this afternoon to apologize and I laughed when we hung up thinking if he'd just called 45 minutes earlier he could've saved himself a lot of money. I excel at retail therapy.
- I have to keep reminding myself of all the painful experiences I had in C-ville before I actually made friends. Like that time I went to PWOC. Or my first time to MOMS Club. Just give it time, just give it time.
- Why in the heck is Jake upstairs screaming so loudly - what is the point of letting them watch a movie if he is going to scream. There is the end of Reid's nap.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Maybe, just maybe, you can buy happiness

I mean, I don't want to make this post seem too materialistic right from the get go but I don't have that much time to beat around the bush lately. So let's get right to the point - a couple of weeks ago I pulled out Ryan's laptop, I clicked here and clicked there, I entered in my Amex number from memory (oh yes, I know it forwards and backwards including the expiration date and security code), pressed "purchase" and instantly was happier at just the prospect of what was coming. Three days later the UPS man visited (don't think I need to detail again how I feel about that) and again, happiness. But that night, as I put my purchase to the test I found pure joy. What was it that brought me such delight?

Paintbrush flannel sheets from Garnet Hill. Without a doubt the best money I have spent in a long time. Every night I get into bed and am transported to my own special world. I actually plan what pj's I'm going to wear to bed to maximize the amount of skin that will be touching the sheets without freezing my tush off during those occasional middle of the night feedings. To sum up, I did buy myself some happiness. And I highly recommend you do the same - you will not be disappointed.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Gymnastics Show

For the past couple of years, around the time when Reid was born, Jake and Ainsley have participated in gymnastics off and on. They absolutely love it and whenever time allows I get them registered - which wasn't always as often as they would have liked. In TN they went to SKIES on post because it was low cost, the timing of the classes worked well, and (most importantly) the waiting area was big enough for my non-participants to run and play without causing me constant stress.
So when we moved here to NC I knew I wanted to get them involved in gymnastics to help ease the transition by putting them in something that would feel familiar. For some reason Ainsley started calling gymnastics class the "gymnastics show" during her last round of classes at SKIES this fall. It always makes us laugh because if you know Ainsley you know that her life is one big show. And when she is at class it is taken up a notch - she dances and prances and twirls and skips through the whole hour. When its gymnastics day she is ready to go from the time she gets out of bed and is constantly asking if she can put on her "black" - her affectionate term for her leotard. (As I'm sitting writing this she walked up and asked me about it . . .she is on top if it today!).
On Friday they tried out their new classes at Sandhills Gymnastics - Ainsley in Tumblebears and Jake in Beginner Tumbling and Tramp. They had a blast. This gym is so fantastic - especially compared to SKIES where they had a blast probably because they didn't know any better and despite their incredibly apathetic coaches. Ainsley's coach here had her number within about 5 minutes noting that a walk from point A to point B is much more complicated with an aspiring gymnast such as Ains because any opportunity to jump or twirl or bounce that might present itself along the way is immediately jumped on. Another little girl in the class figured this out too (apparently she is the self appointed watch dog of the class and since she is easily twice Ainsley's size in body weight I guess it works out) and so the coach would walk holding Ainsley's hand while the little girl would walk behind Ainsley doing her best sheepdog imitation nipping at Ainsley's heals to keep her in line.
I don't know that I am crazy about the idea of Ainsley pursuing gymnastics as she grows (its a great sport but I have concerns about the prevalence of eating disorders and high injury rate) but if ever a kid was made for it its her. She has the spunk, sass, teeny size, fearlessness, energy, stubborness - the whole package - to be good.
And yep, Jake was there too and he had a great time and was very cute too but its hard to live up to Ainsley stories in this type of situation.
Well, I better wrap this up as its almost time for the show!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Getting settled

So we are here in Pinehurst. It feels like its been forever in coming and sometimes hard to believe its actually here. I have so many emotions about it that its just about impossible to sum up how I'm feeling. I haven't lived in North Carolina as a full time resident since I was 18 - its almost surreal to be back. I can't get over the fact that my family is a two hour drive away - its something I always dreamed of. The other night I was feeling under the weather and worried I was getting sick - but what a thought it was when I realized if I needed to I could call my parents and they could come out even just for a day to nurse me back to health :) Its beautiful here in Pinehurst. When I drive around I'm constantly rubber-necking at the beautiful homes, golf courses and just the unique and wonderful terrain. I love our house. I have granite countertops - I'm not sure if there is much more to say - that pretty much sums it up. And so far most people have been very, very friendly. Oh and there is Harris Teeter. Free cookies, free balloons, tons of samples around the store, swanky products . . . my first job was as a HT cashier. Its like being home again.
BUT - I still feel like a huge outsider. I don't know where things are. I hate being the new parent at preschool - esp. when Ainsley is being Ainsley. Church shopping has proved frustrating and underwhelming. I don't have anyone to call to watch the kids so Ryan and I can go on a (much needed) date night. And I thought Ryan and I had something special with our builder's son and now he never even comes over anymore. OK, that is a joke and if it doesn't make sense its ok. I'm secure enough in my humor. And finally, as much as I love HT my shopping takes me forever because I still don't know where things are and so I wander around more than I'd like.
So, there is an update on our life for now. There are so many people I am missing and would love to catch up with on the phone but unfortunately the reality of four kids is setting in and I rarely get a spare moment let alone 15-20 minutes to chat on the phone. But if you miss me too please call me - don't just wait for me to call. It would make my day.
So, the kids are still pretty cute and pretty funny. Lately Jake has taken to using the word "soakling". As in, "Mom, if I wash my hands then they will be soakling wet". I love it. And Reid likes to say "Oh man!" and it is beyond adorable. He also is constantly asking us what we are doing. Only, the words run together and I think he gets lost in the midst of his sentence so it comes out more like "A ju, ju, do, ju, ju, doing?" And then we just repeat what he said back to him because we think its so funny. And at bedtime Ainsley has taken to asking for "A kiss" (kiss) and "a hug" (hug) and "a squeeeeeze" (squeeeeeeeeeeze). Most of Ainsley's humor is in her mannerisms which are hard to describe but if you've ever told her no and seen her hand her head, droop her shoulders and heave an enormous sigh then you know what I'm talking about. Then there is baby Jane Dare who may or may not be recovering from a direct kick to the cheek from her 23 month old brother (and yes, he had shoes on and yes, I was sitting RIGHT there when he did it). She is practically perfect in every way (the practically part due to her excessive desire to spit up). She sleeps like a champ, she coos and talks and smiles. She is a true doll baby.
So, until next time . . .