What is it causing me to feel so blah. I mean, I have on official friend now (see comment on my Observations blog), Ryan is home (for now), the kids are finally adjusting . . .
But then there are those last 5 pounds of pregnancy weight I can't get off now matter how much I run (or how many chocolate chip cookies I eat. Oh, wait.), the fact that I occasionally feel like I'm in junior high again when I'm trying to make a connection with other moms, Jane Dare's new pattern of waking multiple times at night, but mostly I know it has to do with the spiritual environment in my home. Or lack thereof.
I've become so lazy in making time with the Father a priority. I've let family worship time become a distant memory. I'm not being purposeful in my parenting, discipline, and homemaking. And rather than feeling motivated and excited to turn over a new leaf and start over I feel discouraged because I don't want to fail again. Jake is 5 - these days with him are precious and he'll never be so impressionable again. I feel like if I (we) screw up again we may never recover those lost opportunities.
Where does all this leave me? I don't know. I got up early this morning to try again in spending time in prayer and the Word. I got in about 10 minutes before Jane Dare and then Reid woke up. But its a start. I ordered some resources on the Internet last night and I'm excited to see how all those goes. And most importantly my wonderful husband and I are communicating on working together on this. What a blessing. So, I'll keep you posted. And in the meantime a few of you may be getting a tap on the shoulder requesting some accountability help. I sure need it.