Saturday, January 25, 2014

Knee Update

Its been exactly one month since I hurt my knee.  If I was a professional athlete I would have had an MRI that same day and surgery the next.  Unfortunately I'm no where near that level of importance and so after 1 month and 3 visits to the doctor I've finally been able to get scheduled for surgery ... in 3 weeks.  GAH!

That leaves me in a very restless and unhappy spot.  I miss running.  I'm doing the best I can with swimming, biking and ellipticating but they are decidedly inferior for giving me my runner's high. I'm so cranky.  I feel really badly for my family right now.

This state of waiting is the absolute worst.  I'm not getting better, I'm just getting slower day by day.

My surgery will be 2 months and 9 days before Boston.  I have no idea what kind of shape I will be able to achieve between surgery day and race day.  And I still have the nagging fear that my left knee that was bothering me in the first place before my right meniscus tore, won't cooperate after all is said and done.

Monday, January 13, 2014

A Festivus Miracle

My phone rang this morning while I was at the gym. 

It was the kids school. 

 When I heard Reid's teachers voice I was a little nervous.  We had less than a pleasant morning at Casa T and Reid was, as usual,  a major player in the drama.  I was fairly certain she was calling to announce an unprecedented case of expelling a kindergartner from school.
Imagine my shock when I heard the excited voice of his teacher saying "Mrs T, I had to call you because we've had the Festivus miracle that we had hoped for." Let me explain.

The last time that I blogged about Reid it was to make the announcement that I was going to homeschool him this year. I didn't really want to come back on my blog and make the announcement with my tail between my legs that I was too much of a weakling and I'd changed my mind. When we got to Kansas and the reality of homeschooling was upon me I jumped on the opportunity to enroll him in the half-day kindergarten program here like a drowning woman grabs for a light life raft. 

It was a lot of mental justification exercises that I went through to make that decision but I'll spare you those right now. At no point since then have I been entirely sure that I made the right or the wrong decision.  The year had a very rough start academically and behaviorally for Reid. While he has made huge gains in his behavior and some gains in his academics, reading has still been an insurmountable obstacle for him. 

His teacher has been absolutely awesome in her unwavering determination to help Reid succeed at school. During our many conversations and conferences she remained hopeful that he could, in fact, learn. She assured with me that she had seen it happen before that a kindergartner would come back after Christmas break and it was as if the light switch went on- something she called the Festivus miracle (and thanks to my love of Seinfeld I needed no explanation).  I too was hopeful but wasn't holding my breathe.  Just this morning as we were driving to school he informed me that he knew how to spell DVD. He paused  repeated d, v, d carefully enunciating each letter and then waited for me to applaud his intelligence.  You can see why I might've been less than optimistic about his prospects.  But then came that phone call to tell me that Reid had earned a spot in her Guided Reading group - something he has wanted all year long!

I totally started crying right there by the pull up machine.  Between that and my performance last week when I hurt my knee (also by the pull-up machine) I'm sure my fellow gym goers are starting to get a little freaked out by my emotional outbursts that seem to be brought on my that particular exercise!

So, yay!  There is a Reid update.  

And a final note that Reid was absolutely spoiled last week with a special package that had shark toys, shark candies and an awesome shark book - yes, he LOVES sharks - as a get well gift after his surgery.  That boy felt like the king of the world to have all that attention and love showered on him by a very special family!  Thank you Haas family!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Knee

I wish this would fix it.  A band-aid and a kiss and the boo-boo is all better.

Its been 10 days now and things aren't going well.  I tried to run a few days ago and made it about a half mile before I limped home.  The next day I went to the gym and in the process of jumping up on the bar to do pullups I tweaked it so badly I saw stars.  I'm trying not to imagine what the people around me were thinking as I doubled up in pain from something as innocent as jumping.

That afternoon I saw a new provider - a PA actually - who took me much more seriously than the doc I saw my first time out.  Maybe it was the fact that I cried when he examined my knee because the manipulating and tests hurt so badly, whatever it was, its a relief to be making progress.  Slow progress but at least we are moving in the right direction.

Amusingly enough I was at the Ortho to finish up a third injection, on my left knee, of a product called uflexa.  Its a new, cool product that lubricates the joints to help them glide better.  What's amusing is that its my right knee that's hurt.

Considering the amount of hours put into training during marathon season I've had some extra time on my hands lately to think.  Sometimes that is good and sometimes that is dangerous.  I go back and forth - from being angry that I'm dealing with knee issues once again, to rationalizing that its not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life.  I mean, I run because I like it.  I don't depend on it for my livelihood.  I wasn't preparing to knock over any records or win any cool awards.  In fact, I remember pretty clearly having a conversation with myself during training last year to the effect that if I ran under 3:20 at Boston I would be happy with that as an all-time marathon PR.  Of course, then I ran that 3:19 and wondered if I could go faster.

Probably.  But do I need to?   What will be required in sacrifice for that faster time?  Time with my family and friends.  Am I going to be a world class athlete at the age of 35? Nope.  And just because you can do something does that mean you should?  These are the very ambivalent feelings I've been having through the past couple months leading up to training.  Its funny that all that time I spent thinking I needed to make a big decision about how I would approach my training this round and now it probably doesn't matter ... the decision isn't likely to be one I will get to make.

Friday, January 3, 2014

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Right now I'm loving a few things and I can't keep it all to myself!

First off is Fabletics!  A couple of months ago my friend Joan mentioned a company that she had fallen in love with - and in the same breathe she mentioned lululemon.  So I knew that she knew what she was talking about and that she was serious!  I did a little research and figured out how the company works.  The gist is that you sign up as a VIP (free) and that entitles you to an adorable workout outfit each month at a big discount.  At first I was put off by the idea of that many new outfits (and the committment) but then realized there was no obligation and you can easily skip any month for as many months as you wish.  And you can cancel at any time.  So with little to fear I made my first order last month.  I chose an outfit with running tights and a cute jacket with a herrignbone pattern.  When my package arrived in the mail I pulled it out and was thrilled.  The fabric on the pants felt amazing! Every bit as luxurious as any lulu I've tried on.  I was so excited I put my outfit on and ran over to my neighbor Cym's house so she could see it too!  Then I took a picture (cuz I'm dorky like that):

The pants I chose have this awesome snake skin print that is subtle but makes them have a cool twist.  I wore this outfit 3 workouts in a row I like it so much (sure, it smelled a little bit by day three but I was adorable!).  All of the sudden a monthly subscription seemed like a great idea! I can't wait for my January outfit to arrive! Oh, and did I mention the best part - this outfit cost me $30!!!!!  Yup, for the price of a headband at lululemon I got an entire outfit.  Granted that's a first outfit only deal but still - worth it even if you only get one outfit and then quit!
  If you are interested do me a huge favor and use this link because I do get credit for anyone who signs up (but honestly, that isn't why I'm sharing - I'm sharing because this stuff is flippin' awesome).

Next up is Sorel boots!  O.M.G. I love these boots.  I had some major sticker shock when I first started looking into boots that would get me through this year in Kansas.  Finally I decided to suck it up and go with something quality and I ordered these boots:  I loved these at first touch but sadly I listened to the online reviews and ordered a half size up.  Alas they were too big.  And with a big snow storm bearing down on Kansas I didn't have time to exchange them so my sweet husband got these  for me at REI.  I love them.  They are cozy, cute and comfortable.  The first day I wore them after we got 6 inches of snow and the high was 22 degrees - my feet stayed warm the whole time.  They were worth every penny!

Next up is lemon oil.  I've kinda been singing the praises of lemon oil for a long time and often noting that its great on the skin to clear up acne.  Well, as someone who has struggled with my complexion since the age of 13 you would think I'd have jumped right on it long ago.  Instead I took my sweet time getting around to it.  But now that I've started I'm hooked.  My complexion has never looked this good for this long of a time.  Period.  And the only thing I'm doing is washing it with the same Neutrogena scrub as always and then using lemon oil on it.  I'm beyond thrilled with the results.

Finally, I got these cute little suckers at Crate and Barrel to go with my Christmas table decor.  I love how it turned out so much I can't put them away with the rest of my Christmas decorations!  They make me smile.  My mom even asked me to order her some when they went on clearance after Christmas so I took advantage of that to get a couple more for myself. They are paired with glitter branches that the kids and I made, paperwhite bulbs sprouted in mason jars, white candles and little white bottle brush Christmas trees from Garnet Hill.  Sigh.  I love it.  Since its all white and glitter I think I can get away with it as a winter theme for a couple more weeks!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Cliche New Years Day Post

I don't really do New Year resolutions.*  In life I'm generally an optimist but something about making a list of difficult to achieve goals and then setting out to reach them in the middle of cold, often dreary, January brings out the pessimist in me (or as my husband would say, the "realist").

This year I'm going to make a compromise and go with an (admittedly) cop-out of a resolution.**  Something along the lines of "this year I will love myself/accept myself/not criticize myself more".   But seriously, sometimes I beat myself up about the things I am not good at for little reason more than that my lacking in certain areas makes my life less of the storybook ideal life I'm sold by the world around me.

Are you still with me? Or have I lost you?   Let me try to explain a little bit more.

I've always been a person that has a few precious friends rather than many good friends.  Those friends that are dear are the ones who accept and love the things I'm good at and forgive or overlook the things I'm not.

I'm good at:
1- Being loyal.  I love my people fiercely and will defend them often regardless if they are wrong or right.
2 - I'm funny. I love to laugh and to make people laugh with me.
3 - I'm friendly.  I love to be with people - to enjoy the company of just being together. I love to learn more about others and connect with them on common grounds.

I'm not good at:
1 - Phone calls.  Making phone calls, returning phone calls, listening to voice mails.  I am not a phone person.
2 - Listening.  I get easily distracted.  If there is anything else at all going on it difficult for me to concentrate and hear what someone is trying to tell me.
3 - Jealousy (or rather I am good at jealousy, unfortunately).  I often get that sting of jealousy and I let myself do things/say things/ manipulate things in a way that isn't helpful or kind.

The fact that I suck at keeping in touch on the phone means that many of my old friendships drop away after time.  But there is little I can probably do to change that.  And so I need to accept that and not feel disheartened when I see FB pictures of old friends that are still close after all this time.  Its ok.  I need to be ok with that.

The fact that I get jealous means that I probably am not meant to be part of a large group of friends.  There is a group of girls from our last post who are very, very close and are always up to something fun and (at least to the FB world) glamorous.  Every time I have the evidence of this group's closeness put in my face on FB I feel sad and rejected.  But in reality I don't fit in there.  My world isn't my friends. I love my friends, I'd do anything for my friends, but my world is my family.  This is right and this is good and I need to accept that and the fact that especially because of number 1 and 3 in my "not good at column" above I won't ever be part of a group of girls like that.

I want to find peace and joy in the friends God has blessed me with in this life.  The fact that I still maintain a handful of best friends even though I'm cussin' awful at phone stuff.    Friends that appreciate my loyalty and love and my awesome sense of humor ;)

And if you're reading this thank you for being a friend to me wherever you fit in on the friend spectrum. Bosom buddy, old pal, new acquaintance, dedicated workout pal, sweet neighbor or random person that friended me once on fb and now doesn't know how to get rid of me.  Thank you.  And may you also find peace and joy in this life you've been given in 2014.

*Maybe my resolutions should be going back to English class and studying punctuations and possessives.  Is it new year's resolutions? New Years' resolutions? New Years's resolutions (kidding on that one).
**Ok fine, I'll admit it.  I also want to cut sugar out of my diet and be on Facebook less.   Dangit I didn't escape the resolutions' siren call.  Oh, and I want to blog more.   I hear that to be a successful blogger you need to have great pictures so here is a random picture that has nothing to do with the above blog post to send you on your merry way.  Look at this sweet Christmas morning hair.