You have to laugh

So, yesterday was the big day of Ryan's return. Even though its only been a couple months since we'd last seen him (he was home for Reid's birth) it was still a big deal and we could celebrate the first time to really have him home in 8 months. In true Lacey form I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted the lawn cut, house immaculate, children clean, well-mannered and speaking in three languages and for him to find a beautiful, polished and fit wife who breezed through the whole thing effortlessly. Which is ridiculous and I know it. I know I should show him the "gritty reality" (sorry, this is a favorite phrase in our house and if you want the back story I'll try to post it soon) of life when he is gone so he can feel even more sorry for me but I just don't work like that.

On Sunday night I knew from Ryan that they should be arriving sometime Monday afternoon or evening but not much else. I sent an email to my FRG (Family Readiness Group) leader to ask if she had more info and she replied that she didn't but she'd try to find out. So, Monday dawns and I get a phone call bright and early to tell me that Ryan is definitely on the flight (uh, good, because if not I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do to Jake) and that they should be arriving at 6:45. Now here is where it gets funny. Samarie (the FRG lady) is Puerto Rican. She has a heavy accent. And I don't do well with accents. So I ask her where we are meeting the guys and she tells me at the airfield (this I can understand) but from that point on I only understood every fourth word and had to make her repeat EVERYTHING she said. And she is giving me directions so its just ridiculous. "Go down towards the airfield and when you see the big plane, turn (me: What big plane?) Then you'll see a tank and turn (me: which direction - and is there more then one tank or will it be obvious). And there will be a building and its there (me: ok, if I know anything about Ft. Campbell its that there are approximately 1.73 million buildings and I have a feeling it will NOT be clear which one I'm supposed to go in)".
Right. Come again?!?! If this is the best directions I'm getting then I know I'm screwed.

At that time my friends Garrett and Kimiko call and I ask them for guidance thinking surely there must be an easier way to describe the location to me. Garrett is in the background giving Kimko directions to relay to me and I hear him say "Tell her to turn right at the big plane and then look for the tank with the missile and after that she'll turn left."
At this point I started laughing out loud. Oh, the tank WITH the missile . . . why didn't Samarie just say that in the first place. Now it all makes sense (thick sarcasm here in case you were wondering).

Finally I figure out where I'm going and I go about my day preparing for their arrival at 6:45. At 3 I get a call from Ryan letting me know they are in Fort Bragg. I tell him we'll see him in a few hours and he sounds surprised saying that they are getting ready to get back on the plane to come. I freak out, call our FRG sponsor and ask her if she knows anything. She in turn sets off a chain of calls that go up the ladder and then back down to me. She starts off saying "how fast can you get here" and I say "oh crap". I start running around, throwing kids in the bathtub left and right, trying to curl my hair into place, trying to find pants that fit, sweating profusely, all the while Reid is hanging off me trying to eat. It was insane.
So, now that you are all in suspense I can end this story by letting you know it was a wonderful homecoming, we arrived just in time, anyone else that made it in time was there because Ryan had called me and set things in motion . . . and we are thrilled to be back together.
Gotta love the Army!