Ainsley's skin is very soft and smooth right now. Why, you may ask. Well because of the peanut butter skin treatment she gave herself of course. Oh, well why did she give herself a peanut butter skin treatment? Because her mother left her unattended with a spoon and an open jar of peanut butter at the table. Oh, and because she was pretty much drunk as a skunk. Ainsley + Drunk + Peanut Butter = New Beauty Treatment. Literally head to the tips of her toes covered in ooey-gooey peanut butter. 
Now, before you go thinking that I've been letting Ainsley get sauced with a bottle of whiskey or that I've been cutting her apple juice with vodka let me go on the record that it was medically induced drunkness. This a.m. Ainsley had to have her tubes in her ears put in for the third time. She was a little worked up and so they gave her some Versed to calm her down. And calm her down it did. She went from little ball of fire to helpless limp noodle in no time - complete with head bobbing helplessly around and eyes rolling back in her head. After the procedure was over and the gas wore off she turned into her best impersonation of what she'll be like the night of her 21st birthday (I hope not but just being realistic). She'd wiggle to get down and walk and when I'd put her down (holding on tightly) she'd sway and bob until I'd scoop her back up. As I was carrying her out of the hospital she had her head thrown back looking at the lights on the ceiling going "oh wow" as if she was seeing her own psychadelic light show. She'd mumble something and then start laughing and giggling at her own personal joke.
When we got home I put her on my bed to watch a movie and went to get her some juice. She scrambled down to come after me and fell to a heap on the floor where she stayed until I returned. Later I realized she was getting hungry so I gave her some peanut butter (something I do often) and ran out to get the mail. I got a little distracted and by the time I returned 4 minutes later the spa treatment had happened. I guess drunk Ainsley got confused with putting the peanut butter IN her body instead of ON her body.
Unfortunately all fun things must come to an end and the medicine has worn off enough to make her out of control cranky. Makes me want to mix her up a little cocktail of my own ;)
Now, before you go thinking that I've been letting Ainsley get sauced with a bottle of whiskey or that I've been cutting her apple juice with vodka let me go on the record that it was medically induced drunkness. This a.m. Ainsley had to have her tubes in her ears put in for the third time. She was a little worked up and so they gave her some Versed to calm her down. And calm her down it did. She went from little ball of fire to helpless limp noodle in no time - complete with head bobbing helplessly around and eyes rolling back in her head. After the procedure was over and the gas wore off she turned into her best impersonation of what she'll be like the night of her 21st birthday (I hope not but just being realistic). She'd wiggle to get down and walk and when I'd put her down (holding on tightly) she'd sway and bob until I'd scoop her back up. As I was carrying her out of the hospital she had her head thrown back looking at the lights on the ceiling going "oh wow" as if she was seeing her own psychadelic light show. She'd mumble something and then start laughing and giggling at her own personal joke.
When we got home I put her on my bed to watch a movie and went to get her some juice. She scrambled down to come after me and fell to a heap on the floor where she stayed until I returned. Later I realized she was getting hungry so I gave her some peanut butter (something I do often) and ran out to get the mail. I got a little distracted and by the time I returned 4 minutes later the spa treatment had happened. I guess drunk Ainsley got confused with putting the peanut butter IN her body instead of ON her body.
Unfortunately all fun things must come to an end and the medicine has worn off enough to make her out of control cranky. Makes me want to mix her up a little cocktail of my own ;)
5 comments:
Lacey, this is GREAT and I hope you save it for her for when she is older!! I hope that the tube procedure went ok.
Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying! She is a doodle!
How did I not see this yet? This is too funny.
Dear Ainsley,
I appreciate your darling sense of humor. Please continue to keep your mama on her toes as this is exactly the type of thing a good friend of hers finds hysterical. A few tips for you (don't tell mom): A)baby oil can be spread everywhere extremely fast. B)If you can get the fridge door open by yourself.. I am sure you could find more "spa treatment supplies".
C) Shredded toilet paper makes for an awesome party in the bathroom.
D)Tell your mom she's awesome for taking a picture before cleaning you up.
This made me lauch so hard - oh Ainsley.
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