So, um, yeah, its been like 3 weeks since I blogged. So I'll just let that speak for itself that I probably have not gotten this whole ADHD thing figured out. However I do have an amazing, incredible, fantastic idea for an invention that would help me blog more regularly. Are you ready? Someone needs to get on this:
So when I'm running I have all of these amazing ideas for blogs come into my head. Since you don't know what they are I can say they are amazing. Like - life changing thoughts people. You would be forever affected by these revelations that come into my head. Problem is the minute I hit the stop button on my GPS all such thoughts disappear from my head. I go from brilliant to boring in a millisecond. ok, so that is the problem. Are you ready for the solution? I need a device that I can wire to my brain that will transcribe the million thought bites pinging around at the speed of light - and have them on a neat little word document for me when I sit down to my computer. C'mon, I know some smart people. Can someone get on that for me? Thanks.
So you might know from my facebook page that Ryan's deployment has come to an end. Praise God he is home safe and sound and we are so grateful. That jittery feeling standing at the end of the airport walkway waiting for him to come around the bend never gets old. Its an amazing experience and I can honestly say that I feel sorry for anyone who will never have that experience. To welcome your hero home from war is a top life moment. So many of my military wive sisters know exactly what I am talking about that I forget sometimes that we are in the vast minority. Anyway, its just incredible.
Having daddy home to tickle fight and jump on the trampoline and fire up the grill .... those are the things that I ache for in the long weeks and months when he is gone. To have someone there to come up behind me and squeeze me while I am washing dishes. To have him there when its time for prayers and kisses at bedtime (a time that I'm run down and rushing through when he is gone but can slow down and enjoy when he is here). Having someone to share smiles and laughs with over our kids antics and cutenesses and stories. All of those things just make my heart well up and the tears spill over with gratitude when we get him back.
But what I think some of us military wives don't share with the general public is that homecoming isn't all roses and champagne. I think we are slow to share this because people will look at us like ungrateful jerks. Or on the other side if we share that it is challenging they will assume our soldier is having PTSD and sitting around drinking whiskey out of the bottle and cleaning his guns. And really its somewhere in the middle. There is a bit of a letdown I think. We focus so much on that date circled in red on the calendar that says "Daddy's Home" that we think "now what" when that date has come and gone. Let's be honest people, there are some small benefits to having the hubby deployed.
1 - less laundry. less man sized laundry. less man sized stinky laundry containing workout clothes that have been ripening in the trunk of his car for a few days.
2 - less meal planning. I mean I whine and complain about cooking when Ryan is gone but let's be honest that if I don't feel like making food I can throw some grilled cheese on the table and call it a night. There is certainly no judgement from my little people. They are thrilled to have a dinner that doesn't revolve around the question "how many bites of this do I have to eat". So is there mom.
3 - less sports and Fox news. Maybe this is just at my house. But that 2nd night my hubs was home and I heard Bill O'Reilly's voice coming from my living room I realized I hadn't missed it even a little bit in the months he was gone.
4 - less compromise. Not sure how much I need to explain this one. When its just me I do what I want.
5 - less money spent on beer. Which means more money spent on me.
I don't mean for this to come off as a big pity party. I truly hope that list is funny or makes you smile because it is definitely a laughing matter around this house. As we get back into our rythmn as a family and try to remember how to put the other first there will be bumps in the road. Every time its a process to readjust. But if anything military families are good at its finding the new normal. And I have no doubt we will find it sooner rather than later.
In the meantime just so we don't get too used to each other my soldier is heading out again for a few days next week. I joked to his boss it was probably good to give us a little bit of a breather from each other. Like ha, ha - its so funny I could cry.