No, its not bedtime. Its only 7:45 a.m. but I can't wait for bedtime already and the day has just begun. This is definitely not a good sign. Last night was so rough. One of those nights where I just wanted to throw myself down and kick and scream. Or where I felt like if I could have a private audience with God (which of course I can but this was in my sleep deprived state) the only thing I'd ask is why I can't get a break. Now, I know this is ridiculous and selfish and so narrow-minded but I'm not saying this was a theologically correct position, just my gut emotions at 1 a.m. when I realized it was going to be a bad night.
Yesterday evening was a blast - I invited to friends and their broods over from church (whose guys are also deployed) to join us for dinner. It was a gorgeous day outside and the kids (all 10 of them) had a great time as did their moms. However it was a typical get together in that by the time everyone rolled out of here each kid was in some form of meltdown. So I tossed the kids in the bath (they were too nasty dirty not to), shoved into pj's, swiped at their teeth with a toothbrush and threw them into bed. But as it turns out they were way too tired to sleep well. Ainsley took forever to go to bed and when I checked at her around 9 she just started to scream - which sends my blood pressure through the roof. Jake fell out of bed around 11:30 and when I dragged myself up to check on him he wanted some toy or something . . . I don't even remember. And by that point Reid had already been up twice and I couldn't figure out what his deal was. He continued to wake up off and on until I went to get him at 1 to see if I could nurse him and send him back to sleep but he was totally stuffedup and gassy and ugh!!!!!!!! I was so pissed just because I just wanted a good night of sleep. So around 1:30 I finally fell asleep. Reid woke up again at 4 and 5. Jake showed up in my room at 5:55 and Ainsley woke up a few minutes later, closely followed by Reid. When Jake comes early I make him lay with me and don't turn on the TV, this morning I realized something had been placed in my arms and I looked down and it was the remote control. That was kind of funny. But not enough to put me in a good mood.
So, here I am, 12 hours to go in my day (until I can put the kids to bed at least) and I don't know how I am going to do it. This is the part where I need to go get on my knees and beg the Lord to make His strength evident in my weakness.