I can't stop thinking about Boston.
Should I run it? Should I skip it?
What will I do with the kids? Do I really want to spend all of that money to go and run it again?
Will I be miserable if I don't run it? Will I be lost to go through another training season without a goal?
On one hand I know that I will probably never be in a better position, as far as my qualifying time, to run it. Even with the projected record number of people who will try to register my time from last year allows me to register first. Its unlikely I will be in that position again.
Sure, I could be if I wanted to. But while I love running it isn't my life. I'm not willing to sacrifice every free minute of my life to eek out a slightly lower marathon PR. If 3.19 is as fast as I ever get I have decided that will be good enough.
But is one Boston marathon good enough? I don't know.
When I ran it last year it was ah-maze-ing. Flippin' amazing. Best race ever. Its unlikely that 2014 will be as good. Nothing ever is the 2nd time around. But this time it could be an entirely different experience. Running it without all of the first timers jitters. Running it to appreciate the course and all of the history that happens each year on Patriot's Day.
Plus my dear running buddies have been lighting up my inbox this week with Boston chatter. There are 6 of us who have qualified to run it. It would be so, so, SO much fun to be there with them again.
But on the other hand it is doubtful that Ryan could go with me this time. It would feel kind of weird without him. And I've yet to experience a Kansas winter but the rumors do have me a little nervous about the kind of cold weather I would have to train through.
So that is where I am. Undecided.