Thursday, July 30, 2009

Flight Etiquette

Note: Last week I had the chance to fly to California to spend 3 1/2 wonderful days with my friends Megan and Nicki. It was a fantastic time to be with girlfriends and recharge my batteries. I wrote the following blog on my ipod touch while in flight from Nashville to Salt Lake City . . .

So here I sit on flight number 305 to Salt Lake City and wouldn't you know I'd end up next to an arm rest encroacher. No matter how much planning and preparation you do to ensure a pleasant flight for yourself there are certain things that you just can't avoid. I booked my flight well in advance allowing me to select my seat. I wisely chose a window seat knowing that at 32 weeks pregnant chances were good I'd need to potty early and often on this 3.5 hour flight.
When I got to my seat on the plan to discover a man already sitting in it I nicely explained he was in the wrong seat. He informed me that my seat, 26C was across the aisle (there were only 2 seats on the other side of the aisle and three on his side). So, I pointed to the chart right over his head that had a picture of a window and then the letters E, D, C clearly meant to be moving from window to aisle. Again, he argued with me that I was wrong and if anything C was the window or it was across the aisle. Losing my patience I pointed out seats A and B on the other side and restated that obviously seat C was next, and it was, in fact the aisle seat, but kept myself from saying "so get your butt out of it!!!". He finally agreed and they shift over to their rightful place.
I unapologetically plop myself into MY seat while the wife asks her husband loudly enough for all to hear if he'll be ok not being on the aisle. It was all I could do not to growl at her that if they had booked in advance as I had they too could have picked their own freakin' seats and he could be loving his aisle position. Then, referring to a comment I'd made during the seat assignment debacle about being pregnant and having to use the bathroom a lot, the wife looked and me and said "well, I'm glad you won't mind then when I have to get up and use the restroom a lot too". Um, excuse me, but what on earth makes you think this cranky, swollen, tired pregnant woman would be so gracious? Let me reiterate - YOU TOO had the opportunity for an aisle seat just like me. Your lack of planning does not require a gracious attitude on my part.

In response I pulled out my headphones, grateful that at the last minute I took Ryan's Bose over the hear headphones so I could play deaf and avoid any further interaction. This is precisely when I discovered I was next to an arm rest encroacher. The husband plops his arm up on the armrest and it totally spills over into my personal seat space. Now, I firmly believe that the middle seat passenger is mostly entitled to both of his shared armrests since they are crammed in the middle seat. But what they are not entitled to is even 1 centimeter of my precious personal seat space. I don't want your arm rubbing mine while its sitting innocently on my lap. So now I have to start the subtle game of communicating arm space rules. This involves firmly pressing my arm against the side of the armrest and, if necessary, moving it vertically up and down to communicate my point and(hopefully) cause discomfort on the part of the encroacher. So far, its working ok but it looks like frequent reminders may be necessary.

Oh, and so far his wife has already made a trip to the potty and we are only 1/3 of the way through the flight. At this point I think the score is Lacey - 3 and Outdoorsy-wanna-be-upper-end-of-middle aged- couple (you know the kind with special hiking shorts, keens AND keen socks on) - 2. I feel confident that I will prevail.


Natalie said...

hahahahaha LACEY i felt just like that today flying back her from Canada i almost came at a man liking a roaring lion, wanting to slice him in pieces ( ok maybe thats a bit much) but i told myself if he looked at me one more time and said anyhting i was gonna get up and tell him to deal with my 2 girls having a meltdown while sitting on the runway with a delay of 30 minutes....hahaha i love it!

Natalie said...

you need to post this on Facebook too funny

David and Red said...

OMG - that is hysterical. Thank goodness for the itouch so we could get the unedited "live action" account. lol. ;)

Amber J said...

AND FOR THIS, THIS VERY BLOG - is the reason I love my lace! Sharing her thoughts as vividly as they come!!!!!! you make me smile!!!!