The middle school years

I remember about 5 years ago, watching Ainsley walk into school and excitedly greet everyone that she knew. It was the same every day, no matter who was there, she was thrilled to see them.  Once it was a friend’s daughter who was approaching middle school age, and I am sure, very uncomfortable in her own skin and mortified to get attention from a much younger kid.  Ainsley ran up to her to say hello.  She was barely acknowledged and the girl quickly sped past her.  Mostly undaunted, Ainsley went on her way and didn’t let it bother her.

I look at Ainsley today, and though she is fully in those awkward middle school years, she still spreads her love towards everyone.  I watch her greet those younger than her with pure love and enthusiasm that makes them light up.  A couple of weeks ago she and Ryan went on a father-daughter retreat and she gave special attention to a little friend who was about 8 years old.  Ryan told her how nice that was and Ainsley responded “when I was 8 I would’ve thought it was the coolest thing in the world if a 13 year old wanted to be my friend”.

This year has been full of bumps.  The disappointment of not being selected for state honors choir (by 1 point), the humbling experience of a small role in the school play, struggles with trying to manage her friend group, along with the realization of where she fits in in on the social hierarchy of popular kids at school.  I watch all of these experiences coming at her and my heart just aches because I want to make it all right.

But, one day, she will be an adult.  And she will get knocked down.  But.  But. But.  She will know how to get back up, because she has done it before. She will face disappointment.  But she will have the skills to handle it with grace.  She will negotiate relationship struggles but her world won’t crumble because she will have the self-assurance that there is light on the other side.  

But most of all, she will have the most kind and loving spirit of anyone I’ve ever met.  And that isn’t something we had to teach her.  That is just who she is.