Thursday, March 17, 2016

Don't do it. It's a trap.

Dear new mom,
Let me do you a favor here. You're young and fresh and all excited about motherhood. It's an amazing ride and it's so much fun to watch your little ones eyes light up as they discover the world. So when you're scrolling through Pinterest or "networking" on Facebook you are sure to come across a cute idea to implement on some random upcoming holiday. 
There are many. In fact you never realized how many there are until you become then all of a sudden St. Patrick's day is a thing, Presidents' Day is a thing, Dr. Suess's birthday is a thing even Valentine's Day is more of a thing. Obviously this is on top of the actual things like Christmas, Easter, Halloween. You see where I'm going with this. 
So young, new mom you're going to think to yourself "how fun I'm going to surprise my little darling with leprechaun tracks in our bathroom or green eggs and ham for breakfast or a Valentine's Day scavenger hunt."
And you'll do it, and it will be a great success, and your child will think you're the greatest mom ever. You'll pat yourself on the back with a feeling of great satisfaction. Until 364 days later. when it all of a sudden is hits you that, oh shit, tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and I don't have any freaking gold coins to sprinkle around their bedroom.
Or you've misplaced your food coloring. Or, to be honest, you're tired and cranky and on your second glass of wine and you frankly don't really feel like building a flipping leprechaun trap!
Oh, but my friend, it doesn't work like that. Therein lies the trap. Because tomorrow morning your little cherub will wake up expecting magic. And if it's not there there's a good chance that little cherub will turn into a little demon in two seconds flat. And trust me, it's not fun to start a quasi-holiday with beatings. Not that I know from personal experience or anything.
I urge you, new mom, take my advice and resist the urge to give in to the Pinterest pressure. Start out mediocre and you'll never disappoint.  One day you'll thank me.

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